questions and thoughts on a dark afternoon

If I were to wish for something, I’d wish for my family back. I’d wish for joy and understading, for laughters and open looks. I’d wish to forget the sorrow and to put away past problems. I’d wish for them to see the real meaning of things and the importance of being together. But I mean like really together, not jsut being present all in the same room. 

I recall the happy moments, the Christmas Eves when we danced, the sleigh rides, all of us opening presents around the tree. These are the flashbacks I’m having now. But I know that  I may not have any of this when I get home. And perhaps it’s because I’m scared or perhaps I’m in desperate need of care and love, or perhaps that I’m more conscious of the value of having the loved ones near, I would so much want us back together. 

Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Will anyone read it? Do I want people to read it? I guess it’s just this need of letting it all out, of speaking my mind, of finally being able to say somewhere that I’m fed up with constantly living with these ups and downs. And it would be much easier for everyone if we just let egos aside, if we took the good part of each other, if we understood that we’re not perfect and that we love each other no matter what. 

I just wish…so much…

 

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