Beneath my beautiful

They seemed only lyrics. From a beautiful song. By an artist I much enjoy and admire right now. But they turned out to be more.

I was listening at m y desk and a I let myself carried away into the story this song was telling. And I soon realized it was my story as well. The words were falling on me like pure summer raindrops on the skin – soothing, healing. It also ached. Deep inside. Up to the very first layer of the soul, where it’s rough and wounded. Small rocks scratching through, making way to depths I never knew existed.

It was scary and confusing, how can a song do that? But perhaps I never cried such pure tears and never felt so relieved before. It was like staring at the ceiling and realizing the sky is full of stars. Like taking off a curtain of dust and letting some light finally in. It boosted me to places I had long left behind, without solving the problems they hid. It made me aware and now it’s much easier to deal with them. 

It’s the simple words that turn your world upside down. That tear you apart, take all the life within you, but only to give it back with even more confidence and serenity than ever. And when you cry over and over again, it’s like this flow of energy grows inside you and gives you the strength to spit it all out and smile with a kleenex in your hand when it’s over.

Now, when I’m writing this, I sit in front of a lake, I see trees, green, ducks, geese. Stillness and tranquility. But so much happening underneath the surface. And I somehow see myself reflected. I’m so serene in this moment, but undergoing so many changes inside. Changes I want, I’ve fought for and I hope to accomplish. So I’m enjoying myself, discovering new me(s), losing the tempo (as Risto Mejide mentioned here) and waiting for all the surprises that I know will come. 

Thanks, Passenger!





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